


Where U Goin'

by scorchedtitan



Series: when times were tough in the worst years (we never knew how to interfere) [2]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Autistic Ruby Rose, Canonical Character Death, F/F, F/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 05:20:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13206831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorchedtitan/pseuds/scorchedtitan
Summary: ruby-pov companion to Leather Jacket





	Where U Goin'

_Now I heard about your hometown,_

_From my cousins who live there._

_And I heard about the gold found,_

_Enough for everyone to share._

* * *

Ruby stared intently into her locker, timing her breaths. One, two, one, two, in, out, in, out. She’d gotten to school early for the first day of her senior year. She worried in the back of her mind that if she hadn’t, she might’ve just slept the whole day through.

What would Penny say?

The bell rang and she had to tense to stop from jumping ten feet into the air. Ruby chanced a glance next to her, where an empty locker once belonging to her girlfriend was entombed in the wall. She bit back a hiss, pulling out her lucky bullet and flipping it over in her hands. She had thought she’d worked through her grief already. The ringing in her ears eventually ended, and she turned.

She did not expect for her eyes to meet Jaune Arc’s.

Ruby stifled a gasp and looked away, back at her locker. The bullet was a blur against her fingers, but nothing compared to the metaphorical one pressing into her heart.

On some level, she’d expected to see him again. He wasn’t dead, like Pyrrha or Penny. He hadn’t moved, he hadn’t been arrested, he was still able to come to school on a physical level.

He simply hadn’t for the entire end of junior year. Jaune had left her alone. He’d been caught up in his grief, and he left her behind. Some part of her wanted to resent him for it. Another part cared about him enough still not to.

The bell rang again and she shut her locker and turned to run to class. Quick legs and a small frame pounded her up the stairs, carrying her towards Professor Port’s class.

Jaune didn’t leave her mind for the rest of the day.

* * *

_I heard about the numbers,_

_And I heard they were high._

_Nobody likes to talk about it,_

_But everyone knows why._

* * *

Ruby stared after Jaune as he climbed up the stands. He’d wandered out onto the track as she was running after school, and they’d had a brief talk. Nothing substantial, but still something.

And she’d admitted that she was glad he was back.

She sat down on a bench, curling up into her jacket that he’d handed her. It hurt to think about, as a million thoughts pounded her head.

Before the accident, she’d regarded Jaune as her best friend. They’d known each other since the end of middle school, and had quickly bonded. She was the disconnected girl, the one who was friends with everyone but best friends to no one, whereas he had been the outcast, the loser to a group of much more popular older sisters. And so they’d drifted together, and become a duo Beacon Academy High School had to reckon with, well-liked but not overbearing.

Some people like Nora and Neptune questioned why they never ended up together-together, as they were clearly so close. Ruby had simply blushed and shrugged and kept it out of earshot.

Then the accident came, and he’d left and she was left alone. Her family wasn’t strong enough to support her, so she’d held herself up. But she found it incalculably odd that despite Pyrrha and Penny being dead, she was equally affected by the lack of his presence in life.

Ruby finally fished out her phone, breaking away from her thought cycle. As she began to dial her uncle, something wet touched the screen.

She’d been crying.

The phone rang three times and she pressed it to her ear as her uncle picked up.

“Hey, kiddo,” Qrow greeted her over the line. “How’s it hanging?”

“Uncle Qrow,” she began. “Can you pick me up? I went for a run and Yang left already, and it’s getting dark.”

He paused for a second. “Sure, gimme a few minutes and I’ll be there.”

“Thanks.”

Qrow paused again, and she could hear him getting his keys and strapping his flask to his hip. She wondered if the other driver had been drinking. Finally, he spoke. “You okay, kiddo? You sound...lost.”

Ruby’s breath hitched. “Rough day,” she squeaked.

Qrow hummed. “Well, tell me if you want when I get there. And remember, you don’t have to go it alone.”

He hung up, and Ruby wondered how he had the misfortune to sometimes say the most cutting things by accident.

* * *

  _You keep saying to me "I'm alright."_

_You keep saying to me "I'm fine."_

_You keep saying to me "I'm alright"_

_But I can see it in your eyes._

* * *

A day later, Ruby’s hand ghosted over her phone. She had just been scrolling various sites, chilling on her bed as punk music played. Some band Pyrrha had recommended to her, she recalled.

Pyrrha had never been one for punk. She was just being nice.

Ruby scrolled through her contacts on a whim. She had never liked giving her contacts cutesy nicknames, like Yang did. There was one exception.

Penny’s name had a heart by it.

She scrolled past it. Up and down she went, trying to decide who to text. She wanted some companionship of some kind, but she didn’t know who to call. The girl stared up at the ceiling, sighed, and let her thumb scroll up at random. The clicking calmed her for a good few seconds. She looked down.

Her finger lurked by Jaune’s name. Her breath hitched.

What seemed like an eternity passed for Ruby. She was finally gonna move her thumb (to call him or to scroll away, she couldn’t tell) when it rang for her. She squeaked, hitting the ‘Accept’ button without even noticing who was calling, and held it up to her ear.

_“Ruby?”_ Weiss Schnee’s voice asked from the other end of the line.

“Weiss!” Ruby sighed, then winced. A bit too loud. “What’s up?”

Weiss huffed over the phone. _“Nothing much. Just tending to some of Father’s stocks.”_   She paused, took what Ruby heard as a sip. Probably coffee. _“I wanted to check up on you, make sure you were doing alright.”_

Ruby groaned, sitting up. “Weiss, I’m fine.”

_“Have you spoken to Jaune?”_ the white-haired girl asked bluntly.

Ruby groaned again. “We chatted like. Yesterday? That was Monday, right?” Ignoring Weiss trying to be snide on the other line, she added, “After school.”

Weiss sighed. _“How’d it go?”_

“Awkward.”

_“Figures. Listen-”_

“Weiss, no. I’m not just gonna end it. He’s my best friend, even if he-” Ruby frowned. They’d had this argument numerous times. She skipped ahead to the ‘next page’ of the conversation. “And besides, I kinda sorta told him I’m glad he’s back?”

_“Oh good lord,”_ Weiss sighed. Ruby pictured her pinching the bridge of her nose. _“Ruby, tell me something. Why? Why are you so invested in him?”_

Ruby grimaced and thought. “...He’s kind. He may be bitter sometimes, but he’s always been kind to me...and to Pyrrha. Despite his awkwardness, he did try to be kind to you. And I relate to him. I just wish he could see he doesn’t…” She paused, and parroted Qrow’s words. “He doesn’t have to go it alone.” Another pause. She trusted Weiss. “And to be honest...I think I need his help sometimes too.”

Weiss hummed. _“...Did you ever feel this way about Penny?”_

Ruby’s breath hitched. “Penny...yeah. Yeah I did. She and I were awkward, but we got along so well.” She touched a finger to her cheek involuntarily, and felt something wet. “I loved Penny a lot because I thought of us as...what’s the word? Codependent?”

_“Does Jaune make you happy?”_

Ruby deflected. “What are you, my therapist now?”

Weiss huffed. _“Talk to you later, Ruby.”_ She hung up, and Ruby fell back on her bed.

* * *

  _They never took you to Toronto,_

_You've never been down to Detroit._

_But talk about chemical valley,_

_Like you never seem to care._

* * *

Ruby ran everyday for the next week. She no longer kept to the track, running up the block, around the neighborhood, up the hills and curves that encompassed their fair town. She didn’t know why. She knew she wasn’t doing it for track practice.

On her last day, Ren joined her. Her route had passed by the car that he and Nora called a home a couple times, and when she ran by it that Friday, he had stepped out in his gym clothes, the tall boy’s long, lean legs easily catching up to her shorter ones.

They ran in silence. Between the alleys. Along the main streets. Below the freeways. Their shoes slapped against the pavement, a one-two-one-two rhythm echoing with them. Once in a while they’d pass someone. Never anyone that mattered.

Ruby wondered if Ren would say something. Tell her to talk to Jaune. She ran over a thousand arguments in her head, planned out her responses as she ran, a million ways to fight a battle she’d probably lose, a theoretical argument that made her upset just thinking about it. It was, however, an argument that never came.

She wondered as they passed by the street leading up to Neptune’s house what he thought of the whole mess. If he thought Jaune was a dick for not talking to her, if he thought that she was a coward for not trying to reach out to him. She reasoned to herself that since he was closer to Jaune, he’d probably take the blonde boy’s side. Then she changed her mind to because he was close to Jaune, he was angry at his failings. Then she changed her mind back, then back once more, each time slowly building up a sense of anxiety.

Ruby was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t notice when they reached a bustling main street, one where the sign said not to cross. She had taken two steps off the curb when Ren reached out and yanked her back, causing her to yelp and fall on her behind. She stared in shock as a van sped right past where she would’ve been.

Her breath was heavy on her tongue, and for a few seconds her throat felt like it’d been filled with ash. In her mind she could hear music, though she wasn’t wearing headphones. Her head then snapped towards her chest as she instinctively curled up. She managed to get out a statement of thanks, but with her mouth basically pressed against her knees, she doubted Ren heard her. She couldn’t even hear herself over the rumble in her head.

Ren laid a hand on her shoulder gently, and she jolted for a second before stilling herself. His hand was warm and though it weighed the average weight of a hand, it felt more like a weighted blanket - heavy but comforting. Her breath slowed.

“We can walk back,” he said, and she didn’t argue, taking his other hand as he helped her up.

The walk back was just as quiet as the run had been. Halfway through her thoughts came back to her. She thought of what people might’ve said if Ren hadn’t stopped her. Of Weiss crying softly in her bedroom, of Blake disappearing in the dead of the night while Yang punched walls until her hand was broken.

She thought of Jaune, never leaving his room again.

When they reached Ren’s car, he turned to her. “Will you be alright getting home?”

She bit the bottom of her lip and shook her head. He nodded and moved some stuff of Nora’s from the front seat and she slid in. They pulled away from the curb and Ren spoke again.

“We all need you, Ruby.”

They didn’t say anything for the rest of the ride.

* * *

  _You keep saying to me "I'm alright."_

_You keep saying to me "I'm fine."_

_You keep saying to me "I'm alright"_

_But I can see it in your eyes._

* * *

When she got home after seeing Jaune at Pyrrha and Penny’s memorial the day after running with Ren, Ruby leapt on her bed and buried her face in her pillows, pounding a fist into the rest of her bedding.

Her heart ached. It ached with the grief of her loss of Penny and Pyrrha, the grief of the death of one of her friends and her girlfriend. But it also ached with a longing to just say something to Jaune, to tell him that she needed him in her life full-time again.

She had left her door open, it seemed, as a weight settled on her bed with her. She looked up to see Blake, sitting next to her with a kindly expression.

“I was waiting on Yang to get out of the shower,” the darker-haired girl said simply. “Saw you needed a friend.”

Ruby groaned and then sat up, pulling a pillow to her chest. “Thanks.” She hugged the pillow tightly as she leaned her head on Blake’s shoulder.

“Wanna talk about it?”

Ruby groaned again. But ultimately the words just spilled out, and once she started speaking she found herself unable to stop. “Jaune’s just...it’s so frustrating! He keeps trying to avoid me everywhere - in the halls around school, running around town, heck, I think he hides his Snapchats from me, cuz I saw Nora looking at something he had posted but when I looked it was there. But then he once came out to see me at the track on the first day back, and I told him I missed him. And when we’ve actually been forced to talk to each other, he always seems uneasy, like there’s something he wants to say but he keeps dodging it like he’s dodging me. And I want to tell him how much he means to me, how much I want him as my friend again, but I can never form the right words before he pulls himself away like he’s scared. I care about him, he’s my best friend, but he’s such a git when he hides himself like this, like a really, really dorky turtle! And I know he still wants to talk to me, but neither of us can find the right frickin’ words, apparently! And I know I’m no speechwriter and he isn’t either, but dang it, one of us needs to say something better than nothing at all! And I keep getting mixed signals from friends - Yang thinks if he doesn’t say something soon I should just forget about him, I think Weiss wants me to yell at him, and who knows with Ren because I think he wants me and Jaune to be friends again but he’s such a friggin’ enigma I could be wrong and he could be telling me I should be buying alien milk or something crazy! I just - I just want to know what to do. Because I want my friend back.”

Blake sat listening to her patiently throughout her entire venting session. When Ruby had to pause and take a deep breath, Blake reached out and wiped a tear away from the shorter girl’s face, one Ruby herself hadn’t noticed. Then she spoke.

“Sometimes...Sometimes the people we love and care about mess up in the worst of ways. You know, before I came to Beacon, I was in a relationship with a guy named Adam.” Blake took a deep breath. “Adam was, to put it frankly, an asshole. He treated me like a piece of meat, but led me on because I had gotten a crush on him. And up until Yang’s accident, I still loved him. Adam found me crying in an alley while Yang was in the hospital. And he told me some awful, awful things in an attempt to provoke me to go back to him. And I hit him, and he deserved it. I will never forgive him for being such a monster.” Blake paused again, and her face shifted from the enraged look that reminded Ruby of a provoked lioness to a much more thoughtful face. “I had another friend while I was with Adam. Her name is Ilia. Ilia told me she thought Adam was an asshole, that he was just using me. I refused to believe her. But she stuck by my side, even was I was being a jerk and in the stupidest kind of crush. But part of that was because, well, she was in love with me.” Blake leaned back, looked up at Ruby’s ceiling lights. “When I finally got away from Adam, I went to Ilia’s, and she tried to kiss me. And I was shocked. I pushed her away, told her to get away from me, and ran. And she was hurt and angered by this, and she left me a nasty voicemail. But after I saw Adam again, I called her, and I said I wanted to fix things. And she said okay, and we text and hang out once in a while now. We’re friends again, even though she’s admitted she still cares about me in that way.”

Story concluded, Ruby quirked her head. “Blake, I’m happy for you...but what does that mean for my problems? I’m just not sure I get the moral, ya know.”

“She means,” a voice interjected from her doorway, and Ruby looked up and saw Yang standing there, “that sometimes the people you love fuck up, and it’s your decision based on what they did to forgive them.” The blonde girl took a running start and tackled her sister and her girlfriend onto the bed, leaving the trio in a yelping, giggling mess, lying down as the bed thumped.

As Yang turned over to lie between the duo, Blake asked, “How much of that did you hear?” She nuzzled her face into Yang’s neck and laid a soft kiss on her cheek.

“Enough to know what you were telling Ruby about,” Yang replied, wrapping her arm under Blake and pulling her in close. “I love you, Blake.”

“I love you, Yang.”

Ruby made a face, disgusted by her sister’s gross sappiness, and shoved them off. “Get outta here, you slobs! Go get food or ride ponies or something that isn’t disgusting out of my room!” She giggled, a smile creasing her lips all but ear to ear as she sat up.

As Yang stood up, she grabbed her girlfriend’s hand to leave. Before Blake was fully out of Ruby’s room, she paused to say, “Follow your heart, Ruby. Make your own decision,” before being tugged out.

The smile ran away from Ruby’s face, and she flumped back and stared at the ceiling. She thought about the word _love_ , and made her decision.

* * *

  _As we sit by the wall,_

_In your room in Brandon Hall, tonight._

_You can tell in this light,_

_They're just all bricks painted white, tonight._

_And you know in your bones,_

_This might never feel like home, tonight._

_403, 401, 402_

_You're on the run_

* * *

Ruby took a cab up to Neptune’s party that month, Yang having taken Blake on her bike, leaving Ruby in a red dress, black Vans, dark mascara, and a coat of discomfort.. She felt obligated to go, despite not really being in the mood for a party. She wanted to make sure everyone was having a good time, even if it was their first year without Pyrrha or Penny.

She shuffled around awkwardly in the loud, busy room, looking around the crowds before deciding to pop an earphone in to listen to something a bit more her style than Neptune’s top 40 lists.

Ruby made a beeline for the snacks table, walking past friends talking, couples kissing, and rivals arguing for some chips to munch on. She scooped them onto a paper plate with some guac, and grabbed some ginger ale before slinking back to a wall.

Ruby mused to herself that she felt...alone. Surrounded by people, she felt alone in a way she hadn’t since she was a dark-haired autistic girl on her first day of eighth grade with people two years older than her, before she said hello to a blonde boy who was new to the neighborhood was so nervous he threw up before their first class even started.

She shook her head to try and get the thought out of her head and wandered into the crowd, looking for a conversation. Sun and Nora were arguing about music, something she didn’t want to get in the middle of. Neptune was clearly trying to impress a very bored Weiss - nope. Yang and Blake were making out - absolutely not. She finally laid her eyes on Mercury and Emerald, who were quietly sipping drinks in their own corner of the room, and figuring that she was close enough friends with Emerald, Ruby sidled up to them.

“Hey-hey guys,” she stuttered awkwardly, and received a predatory smirk from Mercury, followed by a quick jab to his ribs from Emerald and a much kinder smile.

“Hey Ruby, enjoying the party?” she asked.

“Oh yeah! Well I kinda just got here a few minutes ago, ya know,” Ruby said, taking a sip of her ginger ale.

“Oh?” Emerald tilted her head politely. “We got here pretty early. Didn’t have any booze to pre-party at home, so Mercury dragged me along as fast as he could.”

“Not that it matters,” the gray-haired boy snorted. “Neptune just has prissy cocktails. Damn rich kids, amirite?” He flashed Ruby another grin.

“Oh, uh, yeah. I mean I don’t drink. But yeah.”

Emerald shrugged, sipping her own cocktail. “Ignore him, he whines about everything. How’s your first month been?”

Ruby jumped right in, distracting herself with her own words. “Oh, well, I’m taking Physics this year and man, I really just can’t keep up with Mr. Oobleck. He just talks so fast, and I caught a whiff of his thermos and I think he’s drinking beer in class but that doesn’t make sense ‘cuz if he were drinking, he wouldn’t be so hyper. Nora says it’s probably laced with drugs or something but I don’t believe her because Nora thinks sloths make noise.”

Mercury scoffed. “Please, if Oobleck were drinking, Ozpin would definitely notice. I swear Oz can stop time or something.”

Emerald rolled her eyes. “That’s just a stupid rumor that got around because Nora happened to say it while hanging out with some stoners.”

“See!” Ruby flapped a hand excitedly. “Nora’s great but man you can’t take her word at all! Oh and then I have Port and he’s so boring.” Ruby glanced around to make sure Nora hadn’t heard that first bit, only to stop dead, not hearing Emerald’s reply.

Jaune was looking at her. The world ground to a halt. She felt like the lights around her were moving at a snail’s pace. That all sound was a blur of noise. Cinder was next to Jaune, and her mouth was moving, but for the life of her Ruby couldn’t make out what she was saying. They were exactly where Ruby had found Jaune and Pyrrha kissing the night that-

Time came back as Jaune looked away before leaving. Emerald snapped her fingers under Ruby’s nose. “You alright?”

Ruby’s eyes snapped back to look at her. “I’m-I changed my mind. I’m going to get a drink.” She left the duo behind and wandered over to the bar, pouring a drink from the first thing she saw, a bottle of vodka. She downed it and almost gagged. It was like drinking soap, soap that made her skin feel hot, but she managed to keep it down.

She remembered catching Jaune and Pyrrha kissing when she’d wanted to ask the redhead to pick up Penny. Ruby had been so excited to see her girlfriend, as despite their time dating, they didn’t go to parties together-together often. Ruby had felt so awkward watching her best friend kiss someone, but had also been excited to kiss Penny like that.

A kiss that had never come.

Suddenly the lights felt like they were flashing too much. The noise was a drone again, but one that screamed in her ears louder than any song. Her hand reached into her dress and curled around her lucky bullet. She had to get out.

She looked around and zeroed in on Weiss. She strode over, and a bit too loudly asked, “Where’s Yang?”

Weiss shrugged. “I think she and Blake left. Are you okay?”

Ruby could barely hear her and pressed a hand to her temple. “I just-did you drive here?” Weiss shook her head and Ruby cursed internally.

“Why? Do you need a ride? I can ask Sun or someone.”

Ruby shook her head. “I’ll call a car or something.” She left Weiss behind, walking out the door into the crisp, quiet fall night. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes as she pulled out her phone. When she opened them and looked down, she realized: she had forgotten to charge her battery. It was dead.

The party raged on behind her, she could hear the bass thump through the walls. If it was that loud, it could be even worse to go back in, she reasoned. Ragged breaths escaped her mouth, and she could feel tears staining her cheeks. Her head was a blur, and she thought of the one place quiet she could go to call someone to drive her.

Ruby’s sneakers thumped across the pavement as she ran down the street. Only a few blocks to a payphone, she reasoned.

* * *

  _You keep saying to me "I'm alright."_

_You keep saying to me "I'm fine."_

_You keep saying to me "I'm alright"_

_But I can see it in your eyes, yeah I can see it in your eyes!_

* * *

Jaune had been quick to pick her up, relatively speaking. He’d made some dumb joke about payphones that she’d brushed off, and there’d been an awkward silence before he started the car, but she felt warm in his father’s jacket, and she’d mumbled out a thanks when it was offered.

Ruby thought about how she was feeling, sitting in the seat next to him, tried localizing her brain and turning it inward. She was sad. She was sad because her girlfriend and one of her best friends was dead. She was happy. She was happy because her best friend was here to help her. She was frustrated. She was frustrated because he hadn’t been there for her when Penny and Pyrrha had died. She was worried. She was worried that Jaune was focused on himself just as much as she was. She was angry. She was angry at herself for pushing him. She was hopeful. Hopeful that he would say or maybe even do something that made her feel better. Something like hold her hand or say that he cared about her or even-

“Jaune,” she asked, her own mouth moving before she even had time to think about what she was saying, the grief just coming out. “Do...do you ever feel this way? Miss Pyrrha like this?"

He bit his lip, and then looked over at her as they reached a stoplight. The streetlamp cast a orange-yellow glow over his face in the dark, and he bit his lower lip before speaking. “Just as much as you miss Penny.”

Despite herself, Ruby curled inward and let out a sob. He continued, saying,  “I miss her because she saw something special in me. I miss her because she was always trying to look out for me. I miss her because she was beautiful. I miss her because it felt like she was immortal. I miss her because I never truly got to tell her how I feel. I miss her because I loved her.”

She sobbed, and the anger came out. “So why’d you leave? Why couldn’t you tell me?”

“I couldn’t tell you because I love you too.” The word came out and Ruby managed to hold her breath. “I couldn’t take away, undermine your grief. And I shouldn’t have done it. Because everything in my life tells me you care about me too. And we’re stronger together, we’re stronger because we feel the same way. But I thought-I thought everyone else moved on. Everyone else moved on and I couldn’t, and I damned myself and you for it. I didn’t want to face that I loved Pyrrha, because I didn’t want to face that you felt the same way.”

The self-loathing slipped out.  “I shouldn’t have dragged you out here.”

Jaune sighed. “Have you gone out a lot since the funeral?” he asked.

She gulped, feeling a bit like a deer in the headlights. “Uh...no. This was my first time going back to a party. I-I spent some time with the others, but usually they brought me out. I wanted-I wanted to make sure everyone was okay.”

“Ruby,” He began solemnly, and her heart stopped when he said her name. “We lost-we lost Pyrrha. You lost her too. And Penny. You lost your mother, and for a brief time, your sister. But you’re still here, despite everything you’ve lost, everything you could still lose, you chose to come out here, because you felt like you could make a difference.” He stopped the truck once more, to look her dead in the eyes. Silver contrasted with blue as he uttered the last part. “You gave me the courage to follow you.”

She could only stare, and he pressed the gas.

The rest of the trip was silent, and as they finally reached Ruby’s home, she saw Qrow’s car outside, as well as a glimpse of Yang’s bike in the shed.

Ruby thought about Jaune pulling into the driveway months before, dressed in black as he accompanied her to a funeral. How the week before that, she’d called him because the people they loved were dead, and he was the immediate thought that came to her. She remembered sobbing through the phone and hearing him break down on the other end.

“Do you remember when I called you, that night?” she eked out.

He replied in the affirmative, and she reached into her pocket and pulled out her bullet before continuing. “After Uncle Qrow told me what happened, what he’d found. You-you were my first thought.” He shrugged, but she continued. “You were my first thought, not because of Pyrrha. But because I knew I could trust you. Because I cared about you. It hurt when you disappeared. It hurt carrying that weight on my shoulders, because even Yang and Uncle Qrow and Weiss and Blake and Nora and Sun and everyone else couldn’t feel the same way as I did, and I knew you did.” She felt queasy, but kept speaking. “But I-I lost faith. I lost faith for a while. But you came back. You tried again. And I didn’t want to acknowledge how I felt, just like you didn’t. But sometimes-.” Ruby cut herself off and started again. “Believe me when I say, I know it can feel impossible, like every single day is a struggle against some unstoppable monster we can never hope to beat. But we have to try, if not for us, then for the people we've already-then for the people we haven't lost yet. And you tried.”

He looked her in the eye. And she realized what she wanted, the comfort she truly needed.

She pushed forward suddenly and kissed him, closing her eyes gently. She pressed against him fiercely, and he leaned back into her. He tasted of vanilla and Coke, though not like a vanilla Coke. It was a bit fumbly, truth be told, but it was what she wanted. When he touched her back, she pulled away.

“I care about you, Jaune. You’re special to me,” she said. “Please. Please don’t leave again.”

He hugged her and held her close, and she bumped against the drive stick. She let out a small noise, happy to be held.

“I won’t leave, Ruby. I won’t make the same mistake twice,” he comforted her, and staying just like that, they eventually fell asleep.

* * *

_You keep saying to me "I'm alright."_

_You keep saying to me "I'm fine."_

_You keep saying to me "I'm alright"_

_But I can see it in your..._

**Author's Note:**

> me from like february: who are you  
> me now: you but turns out lancaster is your favorite jaune ship and second favorite ruby ship after nuts and dolts. also you like freezerburn more than bumbleby now but ya kinda pigeonholed yourself there.
> 
> (song is "Where U Goin'" by the Arkells)


End file.
